I started writing this in 2018 as a way to publicly share some of my thoughts and experiences while at the same time being mindful of presenting it in a way which extends some form of value for you, the reader. The content of this blog was never supposed to follow a formula or push an agenda, and was always purely organic in nature - moving completely on a whim.
Although I have not created any content in over 6 months, I have not forgotten about this project and I don’t see any reason to end it as I think to do so now would be premature; in fact this could very well just be the beginning. I want to take the time to reflect on things a little deeper, and put thoughts onto paper (or screen) as this is how I make sense of things.
I left New Zealand with incredibly high levels of optimism and wonder. There was something almost magical about it, a lot like how people during the 1960's hypothesized what the world would look like by 2011.
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| Imagine being able to wear morph suits to places other than the work Christmas party! |
There is something to be said about dropping everything and going off travelling with absolutely no idea where you will go or when you will return. It is not something that most people will ever get to do (most likely due to the fact that it retards other aspects of your life) however the mindset that one develops whilst doing this is absolutely fascinating.
In August 2019, I returned to New Zealand though perhaps not under the most favourable circumstances. Going through with ‘Plan D’ is never really something that brings a smile to your face. Returning to Christchurch was for a brief period of time quite a novelty. It was great to have my own bedroom again or be able to walk outside and not sweat, but this was swiftly followed by what could best be described as a punch to the face. To put it bluntly, the idea of returning was not met with as much enthusiasm as leaving. Old habits and patterns started to re-emerge. Everything back home in Christchurch had practically remained the same as when I had left - in fact all I could think of were criticisms towards life here in New Zealand.
It was incredibly unsettling to discover that fundamentally, it seemed I had changed very little. Mental baggage which had disappeared during my time overseas gradually began to reappear, heavier than ever. I remember trying to fall asleep one night and thinking that my entire thirteen months overseas had simply passed by like a dream, leaving me with memories that I could only look back on fondly and use as a comparison to my current situation. From what I could see at the time, even the best case scenario would require me to effectively move back into Plato's cave* and stare at the shadows on the wall, fully aware of entire world outside.
The next series of posts here are going to dig deeper and revolve around the psychological aspects of long term travel, motivational aspects fueling these decisions, and the return phase.
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