I haven't been taking care of myself.

I'm sitting on the balcony of a hostel in the Prawirotaman area of Yogyakarta.  The obligatory group of Germans has left the pool, presumably having gone out (or in) for the night.  (It's always a group, and you know they're always German). 

I can hear the live music from Prawirotaman street which is just a block away. I'm chilling on the bean bags, staring out at the night sky.
Although a far-cry from the bustle of Kuta in Bali, the area is packed with foreign tourists in comparison to most other places in Indonesia.

I read for a bit and then meditate. Its the first time in a long time. Perhaps the first time since leaving home.


'I haven't been taking care of myself lately' I think to myself.

And it's kind of true. Due to the constant movement and activity, I've been neglecting myself and have not set aside time to simply be. What do I mean by that?

For me, the act of 'simply being' is when you 'just sit there', with no real intention, no task to accomplish, no distraction. To simply 'be' I believe is an act which demonstrates confidence in ones self.

At the end of the day you have nothing but yourself. It's a harrowing thought but to realise this and fully accept it means that it becomes easier to stop clinging onto that which you use to stave off existential insecurities - Be this objects, people or even social status.

Relying on 'crutches' to keep yourself together will keep you stuck on a hamster wheel, constantly holding on tightly to certain things, trying not to let go despite the fact that it might not be in your best interests. Ideally we should be operating in this world from a perspective of abundance from within; an abundance which emanates from ourselves which we can give out to the world, instead of relying on the world to give it to us.

I'll be the first to admit that I do not always follow my advice but I'm getting there.