In the span of 20 years we have seen the exponential rise of the internet, social media, and its ubiquitous presence in the lives of the average person. I don’t have to look through figures and studies to know this - I grew up through it. I was fortunate enough to grow up during a unique time when the transition was taking place and I’m sure a lot of those born from around 1980 through to around 1995 can speak with as much authority as myself. I grew up both with and without social media. I never used social media with any regularity until around 2015, and so I have seen a change in my habits in response to its ever increasing presence. This post will build upon some thoughts I had while going out for a walk.
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| Grass, grass everywhere! |
One recent Thursday afternoon, I decided to reignite a bit of the ‘travel spirit’ that seems to have diminished within myself. I hopped on my scooter and set off Taylor's Mistake with the intent of going for a walk along the coastal cliffs of Godley Head and taking a few photos. It wasn’t exactly the best day to do so; it was overcast and only around 17℃. For those who are familiar with Christchurch, I think you’ll agree with me when I say that the local scenery can be pretty barren especially when paired with a dull overcast. It wasn't the most exciting walk I've done by any means and a fair bit of the time I was feeling bored.
Reaching the end of the track, I took a few witty photos with my smartphone and proceeded to upload them to Instagram and Facebook as a ‘story’. What I didn’t realize was that although it appeared I still had phone coverage, in reality I did not. Nothing could be uploaded until I made it back to Taylors Mistake. I will admit, it did bring a small degree of frustration. Why was I this way?
I started getting into the habit of creating stories and Instagram posts when I was overseas as it was a quick way to share a bit of commentary and the interesting situations I found myself in without getting drowned out by the adverts of your typical Facebook feed. I don’t know exactly why I felt the need to do it. Perhaps I have the need to produce and share witty content or perhaps I feel the need to uphold my existence through some kind of online presence.
There is a popular cycling tracking app called ‘Strava’ which I have used for a few years now, and there is a popular saying amongst a lot of the users which goes:
“If it’s not on Strava it didn’t happen”.
It’s amusing to think about that statement and how absurd is sounds, but the reality is that I did indeed fall for that phrase and to this day have thousands of gps data on my cycling activity stored on the Strava database. One could argue that Strava has its use as a training tool or a way to track mileage on your bicycles, but when the same question is asked of social media, what is the answer? What rational benefit does the humble ‘story’ provide?
Is it something to do with external validation and recognition? - A way of saying “I’m alive, I’m here and I do interesting stuff and say interesting things”, or “See, my life isn’t so dull and boring after all”. If that’s the case then hell I’m doing it right now by writing this up. Perhaps this is me saying “I like to think and writing interesting stuff, look at how thoughtful I am”. It seems silly to think that a lack of recognition might present some kind of threat to a person's literal existence until you consider the possibility that the need for acknowledgement is not for one’s literal self, but rather for the reinforcement of their personal narrative. Recording your epic bicycle rides on Strava confirms your identity as a cyclist.
People have criticised social media and the way that people use it to present a carefully presented and somewhat misleading facade of their life which only shows the positive and noteworthy. I don’t disagree with this at all but I think it’s important to think about why it happens.
I think we all want to live happy, interesting, and fulfilling lives and that in reality, we don’t achieve this 100% of the time despite what we may do in order to make it happen - We end up spending a lot of time doing unglamourous things like work, running errands or simply passing time in mediocre ways.
Creating a self driven narrative about our lives is something we do a lot and one of the ways we can reinforce that narrative is by external validation. I think the role of the personal narrative is to create an ideal depiction of what our lives should be like. A person who feels that part of their narrative is them being a beautiful/ handsome person might have a tendency to project imagery focusing around their physical appearance. A person who feels that part of their narrative is them as a well liked, popular person might have a tendency to project imagery focusing around social events they may be participating in or being around a large group of friends. We determine what we value and how we want to depict about ourselves.
One of the ways we get typically external validation is by communicating with other people and sharing our experiences. When you engage in small talk with someone, you usually ask what they’ve been up to lately. It gives them an opportunity to talk about all the interesting and cool things they’ve done recently without sounding like a boasting dickhead, and usually they reciprocate by asking what you’ve done. It is taking a particular aspect of one's life, and emphasising or projecting it out into the world for others to see, and this process of sharing is a way of getting external validation or recognition. In these instances you never really bring up the mundane aspects of your life like when you went to the supermarket or put the rubbish bin out of the street, but rather the interesting and notable moments - the highlights. What we often tell others is true, but it is edited somewhat to enhance the narrative of our lives and what we want to depict. When I meet up with a friend I haven't seen in a while, I don’t immediately start talking about my negative thinking patterns or how much self loathing has gone through my mind the previous day - there is a time and place for that kind of discussion.
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| By the way, my Instagram account is part of my personal narrative. Fulfill my need for external validation plz. |
I think this particular aspect of social media functions as an amplifier of what already exists, and I think that the ever increasing level of virtual social connection that is occuring only reinforces the level of this amplification. The criteria of who we still consider relevant to our lives has shifted because of social media. That one person who you haven't seen face to face in several years can still hold social relevance to a certain degree because of the widespread nature of networks such as Facebook. When you consider that you will likely not talk to that person in a very long time or perhaps forever, it’s no surprise that the concept of sharing the interesting notable moments of your life via a non physical method of communication has become more prevalent. Within my experience, as people grow up and steer their lives in different directions (relocate, new job, significant other, start a family, differing interests), the available circle of friends to share your experiences with - that you also meet on a regular basis, diminishes, and so I think the appeal of a wide broadcast targeting everybody and no-one in particular is huge.
I think that as face-to-face interactions diminish, social networking will inevitably begin to fill part of that void (or already has). In this case, I think there is a risk that what was once considered a substitute for real interaction becomes the default form of interaction, and the zeitgeist becomes “If it’s not in Insta, did it really happen?”
I think the answer to that question depends on what realm you are living in and who you’re trying to get validation from. I don’t think it matters.
What I think does matter is whether your narrative stays true to what is actually happening. There is the very real risk of using social media to create a narrative that strays so far from reality that it becomes a second life.
The end
By the way this post is not sponsored by the ‘Gravity chair’, which is a key component in my office setup. This chair is great if you need to spend considerable time in front of a screen but don’t want to suffer the ailments of an office worker. (Yeah I’ve been there, it’s a real thing)
